things I didn't see coming

- having 13 exciting but exhausting interviews in 2 terribly long but terribly short weeks

- loving every single person I've gotten to talk to during these 13 exciting but exhausting interviews in these 2 terribly long but terribly short weeks

- a no-notice overnight road trip to Nashville

- Nerlens Noel tearing his ACL (I kid you not, this has legitimately been making me sad)

- the random snow flurries yesterday, and a lot of other days, that just keep coming back

- flowers + dark chocolate + fruit snacks + car mail + etc. Valentine's Day surprise package

- that this would be one of the most whirlwind months of my entire life

- the way that my heart is feeling life lately even in the midst of this being one of the most whirlwind months of my entire life.  A lot of times when things get crazy, I go into autopilot.  My feet take me places, my mouth speaks words, my body and hands move, but my mind and heart withdraw.  But somehow lately, my mind, body, and spirit seem to be moving as one.  Which is pretty exhausting, actually - to let myself feel the real weight of everything that is going on.  But I like it better this way.  It's kind of scary, but it's real, and, after all, there is never anything to be afraid of...  Does this even make sense?  This probably doesn't even make sense.  And that's ok.  I didn't really see myself writing that either, but keeping with the theme of the post, the stream-of-conscious rambling can stay.

The list could go on for a long time.  Basically, I have no idea what is going on lately, and it's overwhelming, but it's awesome.  There's a lot more I should be journalling about, and definitely some things that are blog-worthy too, but since it's moving so fast I'm obliged to just keep moving along with it.  But it should slow down soon, I think.  Once I get this appellate brief written.  Yeah, I'm going to go work on that right now actually.

Before I go, here's some music for your Sunday afternoon.  This is probably my new favorite!

Enjoy the day, friends, and celebrate this truth with me.  (Also my new favorite!)

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

[2 Corinthians 9:8]

what i "learned" today

Well, good.  This clears things up...  Any law school lovers out there that want to help a sister out with the Erie doctrine, give yours truly a shout.  In the meantime, my flowchart and I will be working on it.  

For the record, I do love a good flowchart.  But usually ones more like this, or this.  There's nothing I can say, a total eclipse of the heart...seriously, click on those two links!

It's Wednesday after 5:00 meaning we have officially begun the downhill slope towards the weekend!  So go knock out Thursday, slide through Friday, and then celebrate the fact that you have once again successfully survived another week.  Perhaps an enlightening flowchart of your own is in your future! But actually, yeah, you're right.  Might be best to just keep those within the Beatles' hits, 80's love songs, and Civil Procedure worlds, for now at least.  

Live + laugh + love, until next time.

the times, they are a-changin'

October has slipped into November.  70 degrees has changed to 40.   The general law school attitude has changed from distant thoughts of finals to panic because finals are now only a month away, and a month cannot possibly be long enough.  I want the break to come quickly so that I can see my brothers and sisters in Mississippi, go to Maine, celebrate the holidays, and rest.  But at the same time, I am scared of what I face until then, and while I would consider myself more emotionally stable than a lot of people at this point, I'm just saying.  If I could get a hold of Hermione's time-turner, I would be totally down with that.  

But the times, they are a-changin', and if I have been in denial about that at all, I have had this tree to remind me.  I pass it every day, on the way to school and back.  And it's as good an example as any that 

The leaves have changed,

changed some more,

and finally fallen.

Can a girl get a pause button around these parts?  Where does the time (and the leaves!) go?

But that's the challenge, isn't it?  We want life to speed up, we want life to slow down, but regardless of our personal desires and wishes life goes on.  The only real choice is to go on with it.  So here's to embracing the changin' times - the new month (although I will always and forever mourn the end of October), the colder weather, the barren trees, even the studying.  It will all be beautiful in its own way, regardless of what anyone tries to tell us.

Even still - if you want to find me a time-turner or a pause button for the sake of my Contracts exam...  I'm just throwing that out there.  This may be the hardest month and a half of my life to date, but tonight, at least, I think I'm feeling up for the challenge.  Outlining, flashcard making, tea, and apple pie await...

come gather 'round people wherever you roam

and admit that the waters around you have grown

and accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone,

if your time to you is worth savin', 

then you better start swimmin' or you'll sink like a stone

for the times, they are a-changin'...

[bob dylan]

the blog lives/don't freak out

Just ignore all of that last post stuff about "ahh-what-is-happening-to-my-life-the-blog-might-get-abandoned-forever?!?!" etc.

One week down, and to say that law school is intense is a severe understatement.  Surely only crazy people sign up for this.  But while it is true that this past week was up there with one of the hardest of my life, I love it.  Really, truly.  It is going to be very hard, but very, very good.

I can already tell that one of the biggest difficulties is going to be finding a way to not let the overwhelming amount of work take over our lives.  Professors have warned us against it, and the first week proved that their concerns are legitimate.  People get lost in the madness that is 620 Limestone.  But I am determined too not let that happen to me.

In case you haven't realized by now, I am a really low-stress person.  I am spontaneous and flexible and for some reason have been blessed with the ability to juggle multiple things at once without getting stressed out.  I have already had several people ask me this week how I have been able to remain so calm.  My answer in a nutshell?  "Just don't freak out."

This is the goal for the semester.  The next 3 years, really, but we'll take it a semester at a time.  Don't freak out.  Breathe easy, study well, but rest well too.  Keep doing things that I love - things that got me here in the first place.

For me, this means that I will sit outside in the mornings with a cup of tea as many days as I possibly can.  I will lose myself in Trader Joe's and read Matador and continue to say hello to everyone I pass on my daily walk to class, even though no one here ever says hello back.  I will make pointless lists in my Moleskines and waste time in coffeeshops and Twitter-stalk Olympic athletes and the UK basketball team.  I will keep rambling on the blog, even though no one really cares.  I will never stop being spontaneous.  (Let's face it, even if I tried to be 110% responsible every single second, I couldn't make it if I tried.)

All of that said, the blog lives, though maybe a teensy bit less than before.  If you need me, well, I'll probably still be with all the other 1Ls in the library.  But I'll be busy not freaking out.  Come and find me. :)

by this time next week...

By this time next week, I will be in the mountains. Not these particular mountains - this is Maine and I'll be in Ocoee, Tennessee. But I'm sure it will look at least a bit like this.

By this time next week, I will also know where I will be next year. For the next couple of years, actually. So much for the April 2 seat deposit deadline I thought I was aiming for. But, then again, this is exactly the sort of thing that would happen. Crazy. So crazy that I am actually incredibly calm about it. So crazy that there is absolutely no denying that this is the hand of the Lord.

If anyone is reading this and wants to find out the final verdict, check back Thursday sometime after 9:30 AM! Not that I have time to blog about it this week. But let's be real. If I wasn't blogging, I'd be working on my thesis, and that's no fun. Then again, if I don't finish this thing soon I won't be going anywhere next year. Such is life. But anyway, the clock is ticking for Katie's major life decisions...not much longer to wait until the Lord reveals His plan! In the meantime, prayers for discernment, encouragement, and someone to help me attach handles to mugs in Ceramics are appreciated. Thursday it is! Thursday it is.

What heights of love, what depths of peace, when fears are stilled, when strivings cease. My Comforter, my all in all, here in the love of Christ I stand...

by name

This week is trying its absolute hardest to get the best of me.

For whatever reason, this week is dragging on and on. I am tired and overwhelmed. I am confused about law school, I only understand a fourth of what we talk about in my English class, and I have barely seen my roommates at all. I have done very little work on my thesis because I have done way too much work in the Ceramics room. I am so very ready for the weekend. And while I know none of these are even close to real problems or burdens, this is how I feel.

Good thing it matters very little how I feel.

Last night in the midst of all of the thunderstorms, the clouds rolled back to reveal the stars shining very brightly. And as I stopped to look at them, I was suddenly overwhelmed by the thought that the stars are the same everywhere. (Ok, maybe not quite - in South Africa I could see the Southern Cross, which was awesome. And they definitely don't have that here. But still...) There are stars in Africa, stars in Amsterdam, stars in Sumpango, Guatemala. In Maine, in Kentucky, in New Jersey, and in Oxford. Thousands of them. Billions of them. And there is One who has placed them there and calls them each by name.

This morning I woke up at 6:30, despite feeling exhausted, to go get some breakfast with 2 of my best friends. We concluded that we're all overwhelmed, and all ready for the weekend, but we reminded each other that there is One who calls us by name who has this all under control.

So I am still exhausted and confused and ready for the weekend. But I am so thankful for the One. And I am thankful for stars and friends and a BBB Secret History omelet too - which, though less crucial to surviving an overwhelming week than the One, still manage to make everything better than it was before.

2 more days. Bring it on.

reunited (and it feels so good)

One week in to Spring Semester 2012 and ohhh what a whirlwind it has been so far! It is so good to be back at the Brick House, back with my brothers and sisters, back in the wonderful town of Oxford, etc. etc. etc.

First things first, we kicked off the semester with a camping trip last Friday night! Why sit around and talk inside when you can go outside with a fire, a lake, beautiful stars, and Julie's homemade blackberry wine cake? One minor problem...the severe thunderstorms/tornado watch that occurred around 2 in the morning. Perhaps that was a lack of planning on our part...but what can I say? We were really excited to see each other again after the break.

Milkshake Monday this week resulted in more people crammed in the Brick House than you can possibly imagine. So many best friends, soon-to-be friends, international students who we barely know... If you are anywhere near Oxford on a Monday night, I'm telling you, you have to come. I cannot explain how fun/overwhelming/beautiful it is. You would be amazed to see the ways that sharing a milkshake leads to sharing the Gospel.

Anna and I are taking Ceramics this semester. Not as easy as it looks. Which was to be expected, but still. It's very fun, very time-consuming, very challenging, and probably going to teach me more about life than all of my other classes combined.

I think that's about it as far as back-to-school news is concerned. The rest is just normal life in Oxford: bonfires, brother-sister breakfast, good conversations, me trying to avoid working on my thesis, LOTS of Settlers of Catan, my English class that might as well be National Treasure (ok, that's not normal at all, but more on that another time...), etc.

I always forget how full-speed-ahead life in Oxford is. It's a bit of an adjustment, for sure, but in the best of ways. I want to take advantage of every single second of this semester, and I'm thankful for friends that intend to do the same.

hit the road jack

Tomorrow, I become a nomad.

For 21 consecutive years now, I have spent a considerable portion of the summer roaming around the country (and, sometimes, world). It's just one of those things that goes hand-in-hand with being a member of the Smith family. Last summer, I lived out of my suitcase from the middle of June until the day school started back for the fall. This summer is not quite as drastic, but still - things are about to get a little crazy. Here's my itinerary for the rest of summer break:

June 30 - July 1: New Garden, Ohio

July 2 - July 24: Bethel, Maine

July 25 - July 27 - Wilmore, Kentucky

July 28 - July 30 - Jackson, Mississippi

July 31 - drive 10 hours back to Kentucky

August 1 - August 7 - Sumpango, Guatemala

August 8 - August 11(ish) - Wilmore, Kentucky

August 12(ish) - Leave for Oxford, Mississippi for SENIOR YEAR of college

Jealous? I thought so. Really, though. I am about to have some incredible adventures. Leaving Kentucky is going to be so much harder than I thought; it's amazing how quickly this place has become a part of me, and I only have about a week left at "home!" But I am so, so excited to get to Maine. Three full weeks in a cabin on a lake with my kayak, lots of books, and - hopefully - lots of sunshine. Because of this whole nomadic lifestyle traveling thing, I'll have limited internet access, but I will attempt to share some of the good things that take place over the course of the next month when possible. If you need me, call me (no matter where you are, no matter how far...)

T-19 hours until departure time (because every normal family leaves at 5:30 PM for a road trip) so I better get back to that suitcase. Here's to a hectic but beautiful rest of the summer!

school's out for the summer

The end of school/start of summer transition was especially chaotic this year, for various reasons. Here's a recap of what's been going on.

[PART ONE: end of school]
Finals' week presents the question - is it better to be very disciplined and study gradually over a long period of time, or keep hanging out with your friends whenever you want and have a blast and then be forced to stay up all night writing a paper on Moby-Dick's relationship to 19th-century America? This year, my approach was totally the latter. Play while everyone's awake, then work while others are sleeping. 3:00 in the morning isn't so bad if the daytime fun makes it worth it. What am I going to remember in 30 years, anyway? A sleepless night full of history essays, or a sunset at Sardis, spontaneous trip to Gum Tree, and dinner with friends? I think we both know the answer. All this to say, school was ROUGH the last few days, but everything worked out just fine in the end.

[note to self/others...procrastinating in Spanish = more problematic than procrastinating in English. proyecto final took me an eternity even if it was about fútbol.]

[PART TWO: fun-filled weekend]
Some people aren't going to follow me for this part, but others will immediately understand. I made it back to Wilmore just in time to change clothes and get to work helping with the Francis Asbury Society Building Dedication Ceremony weekend. Extremely busy but absolutely awesome way to kick off the summer. People from all over the country, and, really, all over the world, came together for camp-meeting style preaching, fellowship, celebration, and prayer for the new FAS Ministry Center. The weekend was, naturally, filled with encounters with lots of people who I don't know but who know me (shout out to my fellow preachers' kids, I know you understand that one!). We also got some bonding time with some of our closest friends and Laura's and my "adopted" big brother and sister from New Jersey! We are so blessed. I will explain FAS in detail later, but for now, this will tell you everything you need to know.

Ministry Center Video Tour from The Francis Asbury Society on Vimeo.

[PART THREE: everything else]
Since the weekend, I have unpacked, done a lot of work organizing the August Guatemala trip, worked some (but of course not enough) in the LSAT practice book, clocked in a good number of hours at the FAS building, and (no surprise) started reading a C.S. Lewis book. Kentucky is beautiful in the summer. I'm looking forward to all of the adventures that I'm sure are on the way.

where your treasure is

Bad news, guys. My History 303 Emerging Nation notebook is missing.

This is a problem for several reasons. 1. Finals are approaching and I need to study. 2. I have some OCD issues when it comes to my history classes and don't trust anyone else's notes. 3. Did I mention it's almost finals week? I need to study...

I realized the notebook was missing first thing Monday morning. Since then, I have checked my desk, behind my desk, under my bed, my car, Bishop, Bondurant, the Library, and the student government office. No luck anywhere. At a school the size of Ole Miss, the chances of finding it are looking pretty slim. But sometime Tuesday afternoon, the thought hit me. I have clocked in a considerable amount of time looking for this notebook, and I've been really searching for it. Searching hard. Reminds me of a story of someone else who lost something once...

Suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.' In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents. [Luke 15:8-10]

I'm searching for a notebook so I can make a good grade on a final. How much more so does our Heavenly Father seek after His lost children?

Second thought, while we're on this whole "searching" thing:

You will seek Me and you will find Me when you seek Me with all of your heart. [Jeremiah 29:13]

I have sought after this notebook all week. How does that match up to how I am seeking after the Father?

For the record, I'm about as stressed out about the notebook as I ever am about anything else like this in life. Which means on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being high stress), this is maybe a 3.5. I really should complain about it less. It is a bit of a predicament, but, hey, it's providing me with some good life perspectives. Walks with friends, a little bit of stalking the royal wedding, and the fact that Nathan got a new puppy and let me play with it today totally all outweigh the whole notebook thing. Inconvenient? Yes. Crisis-worthy? No. I'd rather exhaust my energy spending time with my friends and truly searching for that which matters most - my Savior.

thank your lucky stars.

I can't stop laughing. Today was pretty excellent, as far as Mondays go. This morning did not seem very promising - cold, spritzing rain that's characteristic of January rather than November. What's more, I woke up wishing with everything within me that felix felicis was real and that I had some. (For those of you non-Harry Potter fanatics out there, felix felicis is a potion also known as "liquid luck." One sip and everything magically works out for you the rest of the day.) Long story short, I found myself with very little time, very much to do, an unfortunate art history test, a sociology quiz, and a 30-minute window to track down a professor who I absolutely needed to find today. I don't know how I manage to get myself into these ridiculous situations, but, alas, such was the state of my morning.

Thankfully, things worked out smoothly even without the liquid luck. I had a straight-up stakeout on the third floor of Bishop and found my professor around 12:05. The rest of the day included a trip to Parking Services to dispute a ticket I legitimately did not deserve, a relaxing nap, a two hour discussion of campus politics, Chapter, Cassie's 21st birthday party, and nice, long chats with friends for the rest of the night until now.

Productivity is such a struggle lately, but the ridiculousness of how I've been spending my time is highly entertaining. Thanksgiving is only four days away, and, while I'm excited, I'm not starved for a break like I have been so many other holidays. I'm sure by the end of this week I'll be ready, but for now I am fine with a few more days of spontaneity. I would love for this absolutely random day to be an indication of the week. I have a lot left to do, and still could use some help from felix, but after the goodness of today I am less worried about how things will work out. All will be well; it always is. And getting to that point is half the fun.

"Luck has a peculiar habit of favoring those who don't depend on it..." (anonymous.)

october.

October is my favorite month, and with only forty-six minutes left of it, it's time to say why.

I put this off because I cannot accurately express it. Unless you've been where I've been and walked in my shoes, you can't quite understand. But some of you will somewhat understand, and others of you simply deserve an explanation for why I act especially ridiculous during this particular month every year. All I know to do is to tell you what October is, to me. Maybe that will shed light on the situation.

October is:

family traveling in from out of town
brand new journals
cleaning the house
Chamberlin Holiness Lectures
motor homes
long-sleeve shirts
Votivo red currant candles
cream puffs that are still slightly frozen
football
fresh air
leaves that start to fall in the wind
apples
Christopher Columbus
black cats
street lights that, without fail, always flicker out

October is assorted fall candy in leaf and pumpkin-shaped dishes spread throughout the Smith house. More, October is searching all of those dishes for a Reese's cup and finding that there are no Reese's cups left; instead, there are bunches of candy wrappers left in the Reese's cup's place.

October is finally getting settled. September is chaotic because you're still trying to figure out school and how to balance everything. By October, you've gotten the balance and are ready to soak up the fun.

October is when things happen. You think I'm making this up, but the craziest things, the best things, the most unusual things all always happen during this month. Maybe it's a Halloween thing? Maybe it's in my head. Maybe it's just a bit of fall magic.

Essentially, it all traces back to October 1998 and Dad's inauguration as WBS President. That month was chaos, but I remember it so well for only being in the third grade. That month kicked off all of the crazy adventures that have happened, consistently, every October since.

This October has been a blur, but, like all other Octobers, it's been great. I'm excited about a new month starting tomorrow - or, I guess, in twenty-four minutes now. I just had to acknowledge my obsession with these past thirty-one days first.

small successes

Sponsorship. Class. Breathe. Sponsorship. Rinse. Repeat.

This week is a blessing for two reasons (a lot of reasons, actually, but I'll hit on two). First, my tests are finished, and I have some free time. I use the word "free" loosely; in reality, there is very little free time. But there's time enough for a quick trip to WalMart and a conversation with friends that lasts longer than four minutes. Context is everything. And right now, a dash to the store for toothpaste and a six minute conversation is a success. Second, this week has been extremely productive, and it's only Tuesday night. I am an obsessive list-maker, and few things are better than checking off things that are finally accomplished. If the next few days are like the past two have been, we're going to be in really good shape. And that makes me happy.

It's crunch time, but I'm actually excited about that. You have to go through the crunch time to get to the freedom. There are so many moments, so many days lately where I have to make decisions and I find myself at a loss of what to do. Thankfully, I am not alone in this. I have amazing friends and an amazing team around to help me. Better, I have a Savior who has been so faithful and will continue to be faithful, who demonstrates His strength through my weakness.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." --James 1:5.

it's been a while. (part 2)

More pictures from the last three weeks. I'm glad to see my Mississippi friends again but, oh, how I miss these places and these people...


Of course, pictures and words aren't really enough to sum up all of the randomness, which - at bare minimum - involved long walks and talks with the cousins, Jersey corn, Wawa, tents, beach tags, Maplewood, midnight diner trips, Boost, midnight Italian sub marathons, and reunioning with some of our best family friends. People headed to the mission field, people temporarily back from the mission field, other preachers' kids, Laura's and my adopted big brothers and sisters, and countless other people we have literally known for as long as I can remember.

I love Mississippi with all my heart, but it's so good - and so necessary - to remember where I come from.

24 hour rush

The 24 hours before a trip are so. darn. crazy.

I've spent today packing, going (back) to the bank, going (back) to the Seminary, etc. Everything I do to prepare in advance ultimately un-does itself, resulting in me running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Luckily the 24 hour rush does not stress me out; it just makes me more excited about the trip.

Random diversion... Laura and I did take a much needed break from trip preparations to visit with our wonderful friends Scott and Meg who are headed to Uganda next year! I am blessed to know awesome people like them. We had fun visiting and learned two valuable things. 1. Chick-fil-a is getting a Spicy Chicken Sandwich. 2. "Regular"-sized Icedream cones are massive. Be prepared to really want an Icedream cone, or order a kid's size.

Back to reality. We're getting to the airport at 4:30 AM, briiight and early. I cannot wait to pull in to La Senda and break out my soccer skills, or lack thereof. Pray for us, and check out our team blog for updates! www.wesleychapelguatemalateam.blogspot.com

Paz y amor.

I get by...

with a little help from my friends.

I struggled last week with priorities. There are so many things lately that demand my time and are constantly vying for my immediate attention. I know that this is a common problem for most people; everyone wishes they had more time. But believe me when I say that I'm busier than almost everyone I know. Just trust me on that one. I'm a ridiculously spontaneous person, and when I'm too busy to be spontaneous you know there's a problem. Most of the time, all of the busy-ness and chaos hangs in a delicate balance and everything works out. But sometimes, things start to get pushed over the edge. Thank goodness my friends are there to catch me.

To catch me, to encourage me, to correct me, or to calm me down. Time and time again, they have forced me to re-think my priorities and have brought me straight to the feet of the Father. They've done it again for me the past several days. Several nights this week I have dropped everything just to sit and talk and relax. Could I have been doing something else during this time? Absolutely. Could I have been doing something more worthwhile? Not a chance.


Here's a few of them. I would be a drastically different person without them in my life.